What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?
Last Updated: 20.06.2025 02:33
Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?
Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.
Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!
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Make Nazis afraid again!
After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.
But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!
Where can I get sure fixed matches on Instagram?
¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!
Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.
Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)
Why do some people have loving parents and some do not?
Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!
Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.
TEXT:
Why is it that women are stronger than men nowadays?
“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”
Shameless vixen! Trollop!
Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority
Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.
I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.
And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.
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Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.
Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!
Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.
Which Bibles can one read and be confident they are reading the inerrant word of God?
Marijuana makes Jesus cry!
Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.
In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …
Are you more of a butt guy or a boob guy?
Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.
In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …
Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …
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Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.
Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!
At least until the peyote kicks in ...
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Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!
I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.
And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...
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Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.